Aidan McEnerney Mrs.
Sohl Helicopter parenting Pros and cons of helicopter parenting Aidan McEnerney Helicopter Parenting Helicopter parenting is being seen more and more in today’s age. Many children and teens in the 21st century fall victim to helicopter parenting. Many parents feel a need to make sure their children are safe at all times. How will these children turn out in the future? Will these helicopter kids be able to survive on their own? Even though some people think that helicopter parenting is the only way to make sure their child is safe and happy, helicopter kids need to go through hard times on their own; this is the only way for helicopter kids to survive in the real world. Helicopter parenting is a new form of parenting that stands alongside growing children at all times. Even if the child doesn’t need their parents around them, some way or another, they’re still there to make sure their children are protected(Locke Marilyn Campbell2).
This might sound like a good thing to comfort children, but actually, it’s hugely hurting them in the long run. Helicopter parents swoop in when times get hard for their child. According to Vicki Botnick, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy counselor, “at the first sight of discomfort or failure, they will come to the rescue and make sure their child is in a safe place no matter the circumstances(Botnick1). Helicopter kids at that time might feel safe and secure in their parents’ arms, but when they leave the house, they feel lost and misguided. This practice of helicopter parenting teaches the helicopter kids that they never fail. These kids will take this concept into their adult lives and shut down when they fail at something. Helicopter parents don’t understand that their child has the potential to thrive on their own.
They don’t always need mom and dad at their sides. After years of constant helicopter parenting, these kids depend on their parents more and more, and they lack skills in independence and survival. This is a huge problem because when these helicopter children start to jump into their adult lives, they have a feeling that they still need their parents for guidance because they lack the skill-set and strategies for self-advocating. Helicopter children, also known as millennials, have a feeling of a safety net protecting them(“Helicopter parents” stir1). This safety net is provided by their parents when they enable their children. If helicopter kids have a feeling that they can go home if or when they fail, then they won’t truly understand how to survive on their own terms. I believe that ultimately, this is why we see many millennials moving back in with their parents.
After many years of helicopter parenting it’s hard for these young adults to adjust to the real world. Kids today are being raised like helpless children. If they are raised this way, then they are almost certain for failure as a adult. They do not know how to function as adults living on their own.
These children do not know what to do when things do not go their way. How will these young adults complete the everyday task of the adult world if they can’t even make their own decisions in life? Opposers argue that helicopter parenting shows that parents care about their children and it’s not damaging to mental health, nor their future success. Parents who support helicopter parenting say that the well-being of their children is far more important than anything (Locke Campbell Kavanagh2). This new and already very popular parenting style, is influencing more and more parents to try it out. Helicopter parenting is causing children and teens to feel more safe in the community(Botnick1).
Supporters also argue that this is a good strategy for enabling our children to prosper and not being afraid of the dangers that lurk around the corner to hurt them. Many parents find comfort in knowing their children are safe. They also want their children to be successful at school and with everything they do. When these helicopter kids finally grow up and get over the shock that they’re not living in their childhood home anymore, maybe they will have a sense of confidence because of the huge amount of support from their parents (Botnick1). As helicopter kids get older they will grow through life with less fear because their parents always had their back.
Helicopter parents have all good intentions and with their child’s best interest in mind and believe through this parenting style, their child will thrive(Botnick1). However, helicopter parenting causes children to have far less independence. “Young adults that were helicopter parented have not developed the skills of independence”(Haims2).
Children have to learn on their own throughout their childhood and adolescence to become fully independent. Young adults that experience helicopter parenting lack this skill and wind up living in their parents’ basement. Millennials today are a lot closer to their parents than in previous generations(“Helicopter parents” stir1). Parents are a lot more supportive and want to be tangled up with their child’s life. Even though helicopter kids might like the safety net being provided for them by their parents at the time, that net will disappear some day, leaving them unprepared for the real world.
These helicopter kids will have a hard time adjusting to the real world and their rolls in that world. Helicopter adolescents and young adults preparing for the real world aren’t so ready as their parents think they are(Haims1). When growing up these helicopter kids have always been the winner in some way shape or form. When these young adults are faced with real problems and fail at it they could shut down because they never really experienced failure before(Haims3).
These problems may also be present with trouble at college or with a job they didn’t get. This is way we see a larger number of millenials moving back in with their parents. The only way to correct this problem is for children to experience life and its trials and tribulations on their own, Additionally, children raised by helicopter parents become emotionally damaged. Many studies throughout our nation gathered data on the damaging effects of helicopter parenting. Nathan Lents, Ph D of Molecular Biology at John Jay College of New York studied this extensively. “Rats that are deprived of playful stress grow into adults that completely freeze when faced with stressful situations.
Rats conditioned for stress during childhood, on the other hand, gain the ability to navigate stressful situations without locking up”(Lents1). According to this study, we can easily see this phenomenon with young adults gearing up to entering the real world. Helicopter parenting can actually be setting the pathway for their child to fail in the real world. Surprisingly, stress can help children as they grow and develop. “Acute mild stress is beneficial for brain development, social skills and behaviors”(Lents1). This stress, helps the young brian prepare for all the stress that is to come in their adult years.
This is why it’s necessary for children to develop this skill early on. This can only be achieved if that child has independence with their own life. Children have to grow through life on their own, not always holding their parents hand.
This helps build the character of that child. Helicopter kids completely bypass the independence part of development. As a result, helicopter kids feel unprepared when entering the real world. The only way for the next generation of Americans to feel prepared to take on the responsibilities is to teach them independence at a young age. Teaching children to survive on their own, will help America to prosper and thrive. Given these points, and as a result of helicopter parenting, many young adults are unprepared for the real world. Even though, helicopter parents feel what they are doing is helping their child to be successful, they are actually endangering their whole future.
The only way for children to be successful in life is to learn from their own mistakes. Helicopter parents have to to lay off their children and give them some freedom. This is the only way for children everywhere to be prepared to survive in the real world.