In my lateryears of university, I spent a lot of my time with a boy named Jay.
We wouldspend every weekend together, leaving our studies behind as we immersedourselves in each other. We would dance along the glistening shore, kicking upthe surface of incoming waves so that the droplets glimmered like diamonds inthe sunlight. We would roll off hills until we came to a stop, jittery bodiesworn out as my insecurities and doubts were lost to the gentle breeze, replacedwith the alluring smell of his cologne. We would lie on our backs and stare atthe sky until the swirling clouds began to take on fantastical shapes. Theseblissful days went on and on; a never-ending cycle of radiant smiles frozen inmy mind. My fondest memories are filled with images of him in these moments,gazing at his golden locket of me as he wrapped his mighty arms around my shoulder,pulling me closer to his heart.
To theworld, we were just a couple, bound to break with the coming of time. To me, however,we were inseparable adventures. Jay would often drag me on his ventures intoforeign suburbs, where we would explore the lonesome streets until we foundourselves a serene park, rewarded with a mesmeric sunset as the warmth of ourbodies cuddled each other. “Why do you have to go?” he would ask when the dayapproached an end. Gripping his hands as the sorrow in his eyes blossomed, Iwould always reply “I wish I could stay for a little longer.
” “Then who would Ilove while you’re gone?” He smiled. And, now, as I stand on the same park,watching the same sunset, almost eight years later, I can’t help but think ofhim. I can’t help but think of him, and all the pain he instilled within himself,and the people around him. Lookingback now, the reality behind our adventures were never quite as thrilling. Withevery trip we embarked on, he unknowingly looked for the same thing; apopulated park that he believed could satisfy his desolate heart. The majorityof the time we spent together was consumed by his longing for completion.
Hewould appear so cheerful when I watched, an enormous smile smudged across hisface, yet resuming his glumness as I turned away. I never did hide this concern,as I feared it like a knife that threatened our relationship. Pestering my mind,like an energetic fly in the dark, I would endlessly question if anything waswrong, and time and time again he would poorly reassure me, with such simplephrases like “it’s nothing”, yet it slowly ate away at the corner of my heart.
Iwas never informed of the problems he dealt with, though my imagination floodedmy mind with images of Jay with his hands burrowed in his hair, tears drippingdown his tender cheeks as the soft hum of his voice echoed throughout the room.Every now and again, he would let out a sigh and grin at me, gleefully pickingme up and spinning around in excitement. We would dance around the playground,the golden locket gleaming under the moonlight as it dangled restlessly aroundhis neck. Though, these moments grew fewer and further between us as time wenton.
Even so, he would always make time for our weekly adventures. That is,until he forgot about our tradition.