Rin Cong Nguyen
Professor Raymond Hicks
10 December 2017
The Way Out of Poverty
In the article “The way out of
poverty” the author provided a good thesis which is also a convincing
demonstration of dropping out of high school is the principal cause of poverty.
However, It is hard to quite agree
with the author in the first paragraph because she did not provide a clear
information. She said, “poverty in America grew more than ever before in
the 51 years that the U.S government has tracked the poor.” and ” the
total climbed by 3 million to 44 million.”The reader does not understand
what this data represents. To say that poverty is the reason for dropping out
of school, so how many percents of people who drop out of school are poor in
this data.The author does not also state which agency provided this data.
Therefore, the evidence that the author was given is not clear and make the
In the second paragraph, the author
provided three good recommends for avoiding poverty by graduating from high
school, marrying before having children, and getting a job. It seems that the
author’s proposals are very good for getting out of poverty. However, what the
reader is interested in is how to educate teens to become aware of this.
Providing solutions is always easier than guiding how to implement solutions.
The author calls this the “golden rule,” but to be more precise,
these are just gold ore because they are really worth it when it is being
exploited. Therefore, in this passage, instead of invoking the three solutions
to escape poverty for future generations, the author should delve into how to
gradually implement these solutions.
In the thesis
statement, the author says that the way out of poverty is not to drop out of
high school, but in the third paragraph, the author mentions another solution
that does not relate to the thesis statement she has raised. in the
introduction to the essay. The author states that “Marriage: America’s No.
1 Weapon Against Child Poverty.” So in the end, what is the solution to
the fight against poverty? Graduation from high school or marriage? What do you
mean by giving the idea of marriage? Why
getting married is more important than graduation from high school for escaping
the poverty, and what specific evidence can demonstrate for this opinion. In
addition, the author goes so far as to cite government programs on combating
poverty as “massives increase in welfare” make the poverty increase,
but what is the purpose of this evidence? The reader feels very confused when
the author tries to make irrelevant references.
many reasons for poverty, but the cause of the author is very convincing. The
main reasons of poverty are “lack of quality education and decent paying
jobs”. People always pursue a good education while they can not afford the
expensive school fee. And as a consequence, students who can not afford good
quality schools will not have the opportunity to find a good job. Although they
always want to get out of the current situation, they can not do it. For this
reason, people with low economic conditions will not be better off because they
do not have a good education.
seems to forget what he was writing about when she spoke excessively about
aspects of poverty. The author argues that “three of every four Americans
defines as poor” and “35 million of the 44 million total – are poor
at economic booms,” Does this evidence related to the thesis statement
that the author introduced? Thus, this is a completely redundant
paragraph, and it makes the essay more
cluttered and confusing for the reader.
In the sixth
paragraph, the author continued to provide some unrelated illustration, such as
writing about childbearing. After that, she brings the reader come back to the
main point about poverty when mentioning about single-parent families are poor
than married couples six times. The way that author use to write in this
paragraph was illogical and no connective.
the seventh paragraph, people will see that the author made her essay messy
when she tried to explain the important role of families in society, and
provided some unrelated illustration, such as ” Marriage is the way
societies provide a map of life and norm about behavior”. What does she
mean by this sentence? What does it mean to reduce poverty? Is that solution or
philosophical point of view? If it is a solution then it must explain why it
works.Moreover, she tries to add the quote “pattern of family
non-formation” of scholar Heather MacDonald to make her point of view
stronger, but it did not have value to focus on her thesis statement.
In the eighth
paragraph, the author provided some illustrations that make readers agree with
her. She said, “in minority communities, the collapse of marriage has
become especially acute”. This is because ethnic minorities have a low
educational background. They are less encouraged to complete basic education
and tend to have children when they are not married. It is the result of high
school dropout and cognitive decline. A person who has been poorly educated and
has no underlying orientation will lead to poverty is basic reason. In
addition, she also stated, “unmarried parents are three times more likely to be
poor” in the nineth paragraph also improve her thesis statement.
conclusion, in this essay, the author does not make readers satisfy with her
explanations about why marriage can help young people out of poverty. By
providing a lot of unrelated illustrations in her topic, she makes readers confuse
that whether she is writing about the role of families or the fears of an
increase in poverty. Unlike the title of the essay, the author leads the reader
go to many unknown places with confusing indications.Moreover, when mentioning
about the culture of marriage, she does not provide the detail of what it is
and how it influences on people who she is talking about. The readers may do
not understand what message she wants to bring to them when reading the whole
essay. The purpose of this essay is how the young people escape poverty, but
the way she wrote is far from what she intends to bring the reader. Therefore,
readers do not know how they escape her messy ideas in her essay.